Yikes… I have! And I’ll bet most of you have too.
I’m referring to whenever someone takes control of a conversation, redirecting it to serve their own narrative. “Hijacking” a conversation is a power move, often unintentional, but it shifts the focus from the original purpose to the needs of the hijacker.
The second step in Living-Connected is being fully present and truly listening. It’s about understanding the hurting person’s story. When you’re there, fully, without an agenda, you offer solace to a broken soul. You listen. You sit in silence. You resist the urge to reply or judge.
When someone hurting feels heard, without judgment or advice, it’s healing. But when they sense you’re distracted, judgmental, or not truly paying attention, the trust is broken, and their pain intensifies.
Think about Job from the Bible. His friends got it right at first. They sat with him in silence for seven days and nights. They were fully present, acknowledging his pain without trying to fix it. But then, they started talking. Offering explanations, judgments, and solutions. Their words hurt more than helped, straining their relationship with Job.
This story reminds us that the ministry of presence is about being present fully, without judgment or unsolicited advice. It’s about listening, not fixing.
We’ve all been in conversations where the other person isn’t fully present. Little eye contact. Talking over you. Distracted. Hijacking the conversation. These behaviors scream, “I’m more important than you right now.”
Being present means being conscious of the moment, fully engaged with their story, and free from distractions. You’re there to sit with them in their suffering. Resist the temptation to talk, react, or fix. Embrace the silence. Let them tell their story at their own pace. You’re not there to tell them how to feel or share your own experiences. Don’t quote scripture or try to put their hardship in perspective. Just listen.
Avoid hijacking the conversation. Even if you think sharing your own story will help, it often shifts the focus away from the person who needs it most. Your job is to give them the gift of your full attention, to understand their pain.
Empathetic listening and understanding should be the goal. This is the gift of a soul-to-soul connection.
Hurting people need a safe space to share their stories. Follow these guidelines:
- Listen to understand, not to reply.
- Be fully present, free from distractions.
- Resist the urge to talk or judge.
- Embrace silence; let them set the pace.
- Seek to understand, not to fix.
- Avoid hijacking with your own experiences.
Think about the power of building relationships on the foundation of being truly present and living-connected.