We’ve all been there—standing in front of someone who is in a crisis, feeling the weight of their fear, and you are struggling with the question: What do I say?
Maybe it’s a friend grieving the loss of a loved one, a family member battling depression, or they just found out they have cancer.
When someone is gripped with fear, what they need most isn’t advice, solutions, or even well-intended encouragement. They need to know they are not alone.
- A grieving widow doesn’t need a perfectly worded condolence; she needs a friend to sit beside her at the dinner table that suddenly feels too empty.
- A teenager struggling with anxiety doesn’t need a lecture on how to “just trust God”; he needs a parent who will listen without judgment.
- A friend in the middle of a messy, painful season doesn’t need quick-fix solutions; she needs someone to hold space for her while she processes.
Pain isolates. Presence reconnects.
Fear is a powerful force. It can paralyze, distort reality, and steal peace from even the strongest person. Whether it’s fear of the future, fear of rejection, fear of failure, or fear caused by trauma, it has a way of dominating and isolating people, keeping them from fully living.
Years ago, a friend of mine’s business collapsed, he was paralyzed with fear. He didn’t know what would happen to his family, his reputation, his future. He sat for days, numb, watching a longtime friend jog past his house every day without stopping. His friend didn’t call. Didn’t knock. He didn’t know what to say—so he said and did nothing.
And that silence? It was loud.
But then, my friend said there were others.
One friend called and said, “I don’t know what happened—and I don’t need to. I know you. And I’m here.”
Another simply asked, “What can I do?”
He told him how crushed he felt by something someone had said, and the friend responded, “Give me his number. I’m calling him right now.”
They didn’t offer solutions. They offered themselves.
They didn’t fix his fear. They walked with him and for him in it.
That’s what ministering to someone living in fear really looks like.
Not having the right words.
Not preaching.
Not pressuring them to “be strong.”
Just being present, speaking truth gently, and walking with them in their weakness.
Fear subsides when there is a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to say “It’s going to be okay, I’m here with you.
Here’s how you can help break the hold of fear in someone’s life through love, faith, and connection.
1. Acknowledge Their Fear Without Judgment
Fear can make people feel weak or ashamed, especially if they have a strong faith and feel like they “shouldn’t be afraid.” Instead of downplaying their fear or trying to talk them out of it, acknowledge it with compassion.
Instead of saying:
“You just need to trust God more.”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
Say this instead:
“I can’t imagine how hard this must be, but I’m with you in this.”
“I see that this is really weighing on you. You don’t have to carry it alone.”
“It’s okay to feel afraid. But you don’t have to stay there—I’m here, and God is too.”
Fear loses its power when it is brought into the light. Helping them feel safe enough to express their fear is the first step in ministering to them.
2. Just Show Up
When fear takes hold, it can make the world feel unsafe and unpredictable. One of the most powerful ways to minister to someone living in fear is to be a steady, reassuring presence in their life.
- Be Consistent. Fear often comes in waves. Keep showing up—even when they push you away.
- Be Calm. Your peace can bring stability to their anxious heart.
- Be Confident. Sometimes, people need to lean on someone else’s faith when theirs feels shaky.
What to Say:
“Look, I’m here for you.”
“Being afraid of what’s next is natural.”
“You don’t have to figure this out alone. ”
“I’m going to walk through this with you, and I’ll take the lead!”
Fear thrives in isolation—but connection brings peace.
3. Speak Truth Over Fear
Fear often distorts reality, making small things feel big and big things feel impossible. One of the best ways to minister to someone is to gently replace fear with truth.
Scriptures to Speak Over Them:
- Isaiah 41:10 – “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.”
- 2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.”
- Psalm 56:3 – “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.”
What to Say:
“Fear is loud, but God’s voice is stronger. And, if He is with you, who can me against you.”
“God’s love is bigger than anything you’re afraid of. He sees you, He’s with you, and He will not fail you.”
You don’t have to preach at them—just remind them who God is in a way that speaks life, not condemnation.
4. Help Them Take Small Steps Forward
Fear can make people feel stuck. One way to help them move forward is to encourage small, manageable steps that push back against the fear.
Examples of Small Steps:
- If they’re afraid to leave the house, offer to go with them for a short walk.
- If they fear making a decision, pray with them for wisdom and clarity.
- If they’re anxious about the future, help them focus on just one step at a time.
What to Say:
“What’s one small thing we can do together to move through this?”
“You don’t have to have it all figured out—just one step at a time.”
Taking action—even in small ways—shrinks fear’s control.
5. Pray With Them (Not Just for Them)
Fear often makes people feel disconnected from God. They may struggle to pray or believe that God is with them. One of the most powerful ways to minister is to stand in the gap and pray for them when they can’t.
How to Pray for Someone Living in Fear:
Pray for peace: “Lord, replace their fear with Your perfect peace.”
Pray for courage: “Give them the strength to take one step forward today.”
Pray for God’s presence: “Remind them that You are with them in this.”
What to Say:
“Would it be okay if I prayed with you right now?”
“Even if you don’t have the words, God hears your heart.”
Sometimes, just hearing someone else pray on their behalf can bring deep peace. Your faithfulness can be the anchor they need as they learn to trust God in their fear.
Final Thoughts: Ministering With Love, Not Pressure
Ministering to someone living in fear isn’t about fixing them—it’s about walking with them.
So if someone you love is struggling with fear today, don’t try to push them past it. Instead, sit with them, listen, remind them of the truth, hold their hand, give them a hug, tell them it’s going to be okay, and lead them forward.
That is living-connected. That is faith in action. And that is the kind of love that casts out fear.