There are few moments in life that are more sacred, more tender, and more difficult than walking alongside someone who is nearing the end of their life. Whether it’s a loved one, a friend, or even someone you barely know, the weight of their impending departure can leave you feeling unsure of what to say, what to do, or how to truly be there for them.
The truth is, there’s no perfect way to navigate these moments. But there is a way to minister with love, presence, and grace—a way to help someone feel seen, valued, and at peace as they prepare to leave this world. And most of all, you can give them HOPE!
Here’s how you can show up with a deep, meaningful connection during this sacred time.
1. Be Present Without Trying to “Fix” Anything
One of the hardest things about sitting with someone who is dying is the feeling of helplessness. We wish we could ease their pain, extend their time, or say something that makes it all better. But ministering to someone who is dying isn’t about fixing—it’s about being present.
- Simply sit with them. Your presence alone can be deeply comforting.
- Let go of the pressure to find the right words. Sometimes silence is more powerful than speech.
- If they want to talk, listen deeply. If they want to sit in quiet, honor that.
Jesus modeled this in Gethsemane. When He faced His own suffering, He asked His closest friends to stay with Him (Matthew 26:38). Their presence mattered more than their words. The same is true for your presence with someone who is dying.
2. Acknowledge Their Feelings, Whatever They Are, And Ask About Their Life
Dying can bring a wave of emotions—peace, fear, sadness, regret, gratitude, even humor. Some people want to talk openly about their death, while others may not. The best way to minister to them is to meet them where they are.
- If they want to share memories, invite those stories.
- If they express fear or uncertainty, don’t dismiss it with clichés like “You’ll be in a better place.” Instead, acknowledge their feelings: “I can’t imagine what this feels like, but I want to be here with you through it.”
- If they don’t want to talk about dying at all, that’s okay. Simply love them in the way they need.
- Ask them about the high points in their life and what they want to be remembered for. We all want to be known and understood…this is a chance to do that.
Example: A woman I once visited in hospice told me, “I don’t need someone to tell me everything’s going to be okay. I just need someone to sit with me and let me feel what I feel.” That moment shaped the way I see ministry—it’s about holding space, not rushing past hard emotions.
3. Help Them Feel Seen & Valued
As someone nears the end of life, they may wrestle with questions like: “Did my life matter?” “Will people remember me?” “Did I do enough?”
One of the greatest gifts you can give is the assurance that they were seen and loved and that their life had purpose.
- Remind them of the impact they’ve had on others. Share stories of their kindness, love, and legacy, or have them share their own stories.
- Help them find closure—encourage final conversations, letters, or small ways to express unspoken words.
- If they feel regret, let them process it without rushing them toward “positivity.” Grace is a powerful comfort.
Example: A man who was dying once told me, “I just hope my kids knew I loved them.” I called his son, put him on speakerphone, and let them have that final conversation. The relief on his face was indescribable.
4. Honor Their Final Moments, And Offer Hope Through Scripture & Prayer (If They Welcome It)
Many people facing death find peace and strength in their faith, but not everyone will want to talk about God or eternity, and that’s okay.
- If they are a believer, read comforting scriptures aloud, such as:
- John 14:1-3 – “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me…”
- Psalm 23:4 – “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.”
- 2 Corinthians 5:8 – “To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.”
- John 14:1-3 – “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me…”
- If they appreciate prayer, offer to pray for them or with them.
- If they aren’t open to faith discussions, simply be a reflection of Christ through your kindness, love, and presence.
Final Thoughts: A Holy Privilege
Ministering to someone who is dying is one of the most sacred roles we can have. It’s not about knowing the perfect words or having all the answers. It’s about offering love, presence, and peace in life’s most fragile moments.
Whether someone is surrounded by people or physically alone, they still need reassurance that:
They are not facing death without meaning.
They are not leaving without being remembered.
They are not stepping into the unknown without God’s presence.
So if you find yourself beside a dying friend, loved one, or even a stranger, remember this:
- Be Present: Your presence is more powerful than any words.
- Listen: Let them express what’s on their heart.
- Ask Questions: Your presence alone may be enough. Many will want to talk about their fears and their lives. If they are having trouble with their thoughts, ask open-ended questions to get them started and then clarifying questions to help them dig deeper.
- Show Compassion: Show them they are seen, valued, and not alone.
- Give Hope: Connect Them To God With Hope For Eternity
Who in Your Life Needs This Kind of Love?
If you know someone who is nearing the end of their journey, don’t wait to reach out. Because in those moments, heaven touches earth—and love speaks louder than words.