Thanksgiving is a season centered on gratitude, celebration, and gathering around the table with loved ones. But for someone who is grieving, this season can feel painfully different.
While others anticipate joy, tradition, and togetherness, a grieving heart can feel the absence more intensely than ever. An empty chair at the table. A silent phone that used to ring. Traditions that now feel incomplete. If we look around, we will see these people!
Grief has a way of leaving us speechless—not just for those who are experiencing it, but also for those who stand beside them.
We want to say the right thing.
We want to offer comfort.
We want to bring hope.
But the truth is:
There are no perfect words.
And when Thanksgiving arrives, we wonder if it’s possible for gratitude and grief to sit side by side. Celebration and sorrow collide. And we feel the weight of wanting to help, but not knowing how.
If you’ve ever felt that tension—you’re not alone.
And here’s the good news:
You don’t have to have the right words to be the right kind of friend.
How to Love a Grieving Friend Through Thanksgiving
During the holidays, grieving hearts don’t need pressure to feel joyful, grateful, or “okay.”
More than anything, they need permission:
To feel what they feel.
To not be strong.
To grieve and still be loved.
When Jesus came to Mary and Martha after Lazarus died, He didn’t begin with a sermon.
He began by sharing their tears.
“Jesus wept.”
– John 11:35
He was Emmanuel—God with us.
Not God above us.
Not God fixing us.
God with us.
That is what grieving hearts need in this season:
Not avoidance.
Not a solution.
Not forced cheerfulness.
Just someone willing to be with them.
You don’t have to make the holiday feel normal.
Or light.
Or easy.
Just show up in love.
Here are some ways to compassionately do that this Thanksgiving:
1. Acknowledge that the holidays are hard
Don’t ignore the obvious.
Try something like:
“Hey, I know this Thanksgiving may feel heavy. I’m thinking of you and holding you close today.”
This simple acknowledgment is often a profound gift.
2. Don’t push gratitude—invite grace
Gratefulness can coexist with sorrow—but the grieving person should never be expected to feel thankful in a season of deep loss.
Instead of saying:
“Try to focus on the good…”
Say:
“Don’t put pressure on yourself this week. I love you and I’m with you.”
They don’t need gratitude pushed on them.
They need grace poured over them.
3. Be present in meaningful ways
Small acts carry deep comfort.
Bring a meal.
Stop by.
Send a message.
Offer a quiet place at your table.
Sit with them.
In grief, your presence is greater than words.
4. Honor their loss and remember
If you knew the loved one who died, bring up their name. Ask them to…
Tell a story.
Share a memory.
Say what they miss most.
The greatest fear of many grieving hearts is that their loved one will be forgotten…
Your remembrance is a gift.
When You Don’t Know What to Say—Say This
“I don’t have words that can fix this, but I’m here.”
“I know this season is hard. You’re not alone.”
“You matter. Your grief matters. I’m walking with you.”
You don’t need eloquence—you just need to reflect Christ’s heart:
With-ness instead of Witness
A Thanksgiving Reminder for All of Us
Thanksgiving is not just a celebration of abundance—it is a reminder of God’s nearness.
He is close to the brokenhearted.
(Psalm 34:18)
He does not dismiss sorrow.
He does not silence grief.
He does not demand cheerfulness.
He enters it.
And when we enter another’s grief, we reflect Him.
So this Thanksgiving, as families gather…
as tables fill…
as gratitude is expressed…
Remember the grieving ones.
And bring them the gift of presence…comfort…and gentle, steadfast love.
Even in the silence.
Because sometimes the most sacred Thanksgiving offering you can give is simply a heart that says:
“I see you. I’m here. You are not alone. Let me be your family right now.”