How the Fruit of the Spirit helps us remain connected when healing takes time
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…”
—Galatians 5:22
Over the past two months, we have explored how kindness and goodness help us live connected with hurting people.
Kindness notices someone’s need and moves toward them.
Goodness turns that concern into compassionate action—even when it costs us something.
But what happens when the crisis has passed, the help has stopped, and the hurting person is still hurting?
That is where faithfulness becomes one of the most powerful expressions of Living-Connected.
Faithfulness is the love that keeps showing up.
It remembers after others have forgotten. It returns after the initial crisis has passed. It remains present when there is no quick solution, no visible progress, and sometimes very little acknowledgment.
Faithfulness says:
“You do not have to hurry through this. I remember—and I am still here.”
The Flowers on Our Porch
When our son Lee died suddenly, Susan and I were caught completely off guard.
Ten days later, we held his memorial. We were grieving, disoriented, and hardly capable of putting together a service that could adequately honor his life. It was not well organized or widely promoted. We were simply trying to take the next step through a pain we could barely comprehend.
But faithful people showed up.
Our other son’s in-laws, Todd and Tina Trapp, drove an entire day to be there and took responsibility for organizing the food. Our dear friend—and Lee’s friend—David Clancy traveled a long distance and volunteered to record the memorial, something we had not even thought to arrange. That recording has since become an irreplaceable treasure.
One of our family’s closest and longest-standing friends, Steve Haas, flew in from another state to preside over the service. Steve was the pastor who had married Lee and his wife, and a friend Lee turned to when life became confusing or unbearable.
One of Lee’s best friends, Andy Durr, flew in to stand with us, and another childhood friend, Caleb Price, provided the music.
These were people who had faithfully loved Lee and our family for many years. When tragedy came, their love became sacrificial service. They saw what we were incapable of doing and quietly stepped in to carry it for us.
And then there was Linda Puertas.
We had never met Linda. She was not part of our family or our close circle of friends. She belonged to our daughter Lindsay’s life group, and she came to the memorial simply because she loved Lindsay and wanted to support her.
That act alone was meaningful, but a month later, Linda came to our home and left flowers on our porch.
She left them without saying anything. The flowers carried her quiet but healing message:
“I remember. Your grief still matters. You are not alone.”
Then, the following month, she brought flowers again. We found out they weren’t purchased…she handmade the bouquets.
And the next month, she returned again.
Every month for an entire year, Linda faithfully brought flowers to our home.
She did not merely notice our pain. She entered it. She continued to acknowledge it long after the memorial was over and the rest of the world had resumed its normal rhythms.
We were taken aback by such faithful love from someone we had not even known before Lee’s death. Linda could not take away our grief, but each bouquet reminded us that our sorrow had not been forgotten.
Her flowers became far more than flowers. They became a visible expression of God’s continuing presence—a recurring reminder that someone remembered Lee, remembered us, and understood that grief does not end when the memorial does.
That is faithfulness.
We often wondered what had taught Linda to love so faithfully. Had someone once continued showing up for her through a painful season of her own? Or had she known the ache of wishing someone had? Perhaps her faithfulness grew from both—the healing she had received and the healing she once needed.
Kindness brought Linda to the memorial.
Goodness moved her to bring flowers.
Faithfulness brought her back—month after month for an entire year.
Faithfulness Remembers When Others Have Moved On
When someone is hurting, people often gather quickly.
They send messages, bring meals, offer prayers, attend the service, and ask what they can do. Those expressions of kindness and goodness matter deeply. We know from experience how powerfully they can carry people through days they could never navigate alone.
But eventually, life moves on.
The meals stop arriving. The messages become less frequent. Everyone else returns to normal—but the hurting person discovers that their normal may never be the same.
The memorial ends, but the grief continues.
The medical procedure is completed, but recovery takes time.
The immediate crisis passes, but the marriage is still struggling.
The funeral is over, but there is still an empty chair at the table.
Faithfulness recognizes that a person’s need for connection does not end when everyone else’s attention moves elsewhere.
Faithfulness does not always require flowers every month. It may be a phone call, a handwritten note, a remembered anniversary, a recurring invitation, or a simple message that says, “I was thinking about you today.”
The particular expression may differ, but the healing message remains the same:
“Your brokenness has not become old news to me. You still matter.”
Faithfulness Is More Than Being Dependable
We often define faithfulness as keeping our word, fulfilling a responsibility, or remaining loyal. Those are important expressions of it. But Spirit-produced faithfulness goes even deeper.
Faithfulness reflects the heart of God.
God does not abandon us when our healing takes longer than expected. He is not casual about our grief, disappointed by our questions, or exhausted by our need. Even when we struggle to recognize His presence, He remains faithful.
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
—Lamentations 3:22–23
Faithfulness does not mean that we never struggle, doubt, lament, or become weary. In fact, our faithfulness may be revealed by where we bring those struggles.
We keep returning to God.
And because He faithfully remains with us, we learn how to remain with one another.
Faithfulness is covenantal.
A transactional relationship asks:
“Am I still getting something from this?”
A faithful relationship asks:
“How can I continue to love this person well?”
This does not mean ignoring healthy boundaries, tolerating abuse, or taking responsibility for another person’s choices. Faithfulness is not allowing someone else to control or destroy us. It means that our care is rooted in God’s character rather than dependent upon convenience, recognition, appreciation, or immediate results.
Faithfulness Gives Connection Time to Heal
Healing rarely happens in a single conversation.
A grieving person may need to tell the same story repeatedly. A struggling spouse may not immediately feel safe enough to be transparent. Someone living with chronic pain may grow tired of explaining what every day requires. A person battling depression may withdraw precisely when they need connection most.
This is why faithfulness matters.
Kindness may open the door.
Goodness may move us through the door with compassionate action.
Faithfulness helps us remain in the room.
Faithfulness understands that soul-to-soul connection is not a technique we perform once. It is a way of relating that develops trust over time.
People begin to believe they are safe with us when our presence becomes consistent—when we do not disappear because their pain is uncomfortable, repetitive, inconvenient, or slow to change.
Faithfulness gives the other fruits of the Spirit, and each of the Six Steps of Living-Connected, the time and consistency they need to become healing.
Faithfulness Within the Six Steps of Living-Connected
Faithfulness is not an additional step. It is the Spirit-produced strength that helps us continue practicing all six.
1. Be Others-Focused and Available
Faithfulness remembers.
It remembers the difficult anniversary, the upcoming medical appointment, the empty chair at the holidays, or the struggle someone mentioned weeks ago.
It follows up instead of assuming someone else will.
A simple message can communicate faithful care:
“I remember that today may be difficult. I’m thinking about you, and I’m here.”
2. Be Present and Listen
Faithfulness listens more than once.
It does not say, “We have already talked about this.” It recognizes that healing often requires people to revisit their pain as they slowly learn how to understand and carry it.
Faithful listening does not demand a new story. It offers a steady presence.
It says:
“You can tell me again. I am still listening.”
3. Be Curious and Interested
Faithfulness continues asking—not intrusively, but lovingly:
- “How are you doing now?”
- “What has been hardest lately?”
- “What do you wish people still understood?”
- “What has changed since we last talked?”
- “How can I continue to walk with you?”
These questions communicate:
“Your life still matters to me.”
4. Be Empathetic and Compassionate
Faithfulness does not grow impatient with pain.
It resists the temptation to measure someone’s progress or push them toward our preferred timetable. It continues entering their experience with humility and compassion.
Faithfulness says:
“I may not fully understand what this is like, but I am willing to keep learning.”
Linda did not merely see our pain. Through her consistent presence, she shared in it. Each bouquet told us that our grief still mattered to her.
That is empathy made faithful.
5. Be Encouraging and Hopeful
Faithfulness carries hope when another person cannot yet carry it for themselves.
This is not shallow optimism, a pat answer, or pressure to “look on the bright side.” It is the steady reminder that their suffering is not the whole story, their present condition is not their identity, and God has not abandoned them.
Sometimes hope sounds like:
“I know you cannot see the way forward today. You do not have to pretend that you can. I will walk with you one step at a time.”
Faithful encouragement does not promise that everything will soon be easy. It reminds people that they will not have to face what comes next alone.
6. Be Connected to God
We cannot remain faithfully connected to others through our strength alone.
Human compassion becomes tired. Our patience has limits. We may become discouraged when nothing seems to change or wonder whether our presence is making any difference.
But the Holy Spirit continually reconnects us to the faithfulness of God.
We remain because He remains.
We love because He first loved us.
We return because His mercies return every morning.
Faithfulness is not merely something we produce for God. It is fruit His Spirit produces in us as we remain connected to Him.
A Practical Faithfulness Plan
Think of one person whose hardship has lasted longer than the attention surrounding it.
Perhaps someone is grieving, caring for a loved one, living with chronic pain, walking through a broken marriage, facing ongoing medical treatment, or quietly struggling with loneliness.
Then choose one faithful action:
- Put an important date on your calendar.
- Schedule a weekly or monthly check-in.
- Send a message that does not require a response.
- Invite the person to coffee or take a walk together.
- Ask what kind of continued support would be meaningful.
- Pray consistently—and occasionally explain specifically how you prayed.
- Remember the anniversary everyone else may overlook.
- Keep showing up even when you are unsure whether it is making a difference.
Faithfulness does not require a grand promise. It begins with a small commitment we are willing to keep.
Linda did not know what her flowers would mean to us. She simply returned with another bouquet.
And then she did it again.
The Ministry of Staying
We often want to do something that will remove another person’s pain. When we cannot, we may feel helpless.
But perhaps the greatest gift we can offer is not an answer that makes the pain disappear. Perhaps it is a faithful presence that assures someone they will not face it alone.
There will be times when we cannot repair what is broken.
We cannot reverse a diagnosis, restore what was lost, erase another person’s memories, or rush their healing.
But we can stay.
We can remember.
We can return.
We can continue listening, caring, encouraging, and praying.
Sometimes the clearest evidence of God’s faithfulness is a person who keeps showing up.
Faithfulness is love that refuses to let time, inconvenience, or the absence of visible progress turn connection into abandonment.
This month, ask the Holy Spirit to bring someone to mind who needs more than a moment of kindness or a single act of goodness.
Ask Him to help you become a faithful presence—someone whose life quietly says:
“You still matter. You are not forgotten. And I am still here.”