“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness…”
—Galatians 5:22
Last month, we considered how the fruit of kindness is key to living-connected.. This month, we turn to the closely related fruit of goodness as the extension of the connection kindness creates.
Until this series, I hadn’t really thought about all of the fruit of the Spirit individually. Honestly, it was easy to understand how kindness is such a vital part of living-connected, but I hadn’t really thought about how goodness is something different. But they are, just as sympathy, empathy, and compassion are different, yet we often use them interchangeably.
How about you? Have you ever thought about goodness apart from kindness? Isn’t doing something for the benefit of others out of kindness or goodness of the heart the same? But why does Paul name both of them if they are the same?
I’ve discovered that in living-connected with people who are hurting, both of these fruit serve an important purpose.
Kindness turns our attention away from ourselves toward another person and offers small acts of service.
Kindness holds the door for someone and allows them to go first, helps someone cross the street, carries a grocery bag, or offers a welcoming smile to a stranger and initiates a conversation. Sometimes it’s sending an encouraging card or note, bringing a meal, or giving money.
These may seem like small gestures, but they communicate something deeply important to those who are hurting.
“I see you. You matter. I care.”
This is how connection often begins.
Then, when kindness reaches out and the pain is exposed, when listening reveals loneliness, grief, fear, or a need that requires more than a thoughtful gesture…
Goodness enters to sacrificially make room for a deeper healing connection.
Goodness is the character of God formed within us by the Holy Spirit that produces the desire and the will to go the extra mile for someone—even when it interrupts our plans or costs us something.
For most of us, our natural inclination in our daily activity is often self-protection…
…our time, comfort,
…our resources,
…our emotional energy.
We may notice someone’s difficulty and even feel sorry for them, yet continue on our way.
But the fruit of kindness and goodness produces a different response within us.
Kindness creates the connection through which Goodness becomes compassionate action.
God’s Spirit in us turns us away from self-interest and makes another person’s welfare important to us. It moves us beyond feeling concerned to becoming compassionately involved.
Kindness considers the person. Goodness compassionately responds to the need.
Here are some practical comparisons:
| Situation | Act of Kindness | Act of Goodness |
|---|---|---|
| Someone is carrying groceries | Hold the door or offer to carry a bag. | Discover they are struggling after surgery and bring groceries to their home for the next few weeks. |
| A coworker seems discouraged | Offer an encouraging word. | Listen long enough to understand the problem, then help them address it or stand beside them in a difficult situation. |
| A grieving friend | Send a sympathy card or thoughtful text. | Continue calling, visiting, and making room for their grief after everyone else has returned to normal life. |
| A family receives a serious diagnosis | Bring them a meal. | Help coordinate meals, transportation, childcare, or appointments throughout the treatment. |
| Someone is sitting alone | Smile, greet them, and invite them to join you. | Develop a genuine relationship and remain present as you discover the loneliness or rejection beneath their isolation. |
| Someone makes a mistake | Respond graciously rather than embarrassing them. | Lovingly help them face the consequences, make amends, and grow from the failure. |
| A person asks for money | Give them a few dollars. | Listen to understand the larger need and help them find food, shelter, treatment, employment, or responsible long-term support. |
| A friend is making a harmful choice | Remain warm and avoid condemning them. | Lovingly speak the truth because their well-being matters more than your comfort or their immediate approval. |
| Someone mistreats another person | Comfort the person who was hurt. | Speak up, intervene, or report the mistreatment to protect them and others—even if becoming involved has a cost. |
| A loved one behaves destructively | Continue expressing care. | Establish a necessary boundary rather than enabling behavior that harms them, you, or others. |
| A neighbor loses a spouse | Take flowers or food to the house. | Remember the difficult anniversaries, help with neglected responsibilities, and remain connected over time. |
| Someone shares a personal struggle | Listen patiently and keep their confidence. | Help them obtain the appropriate pastoral, medical, counseling, or practical support they need. |
| A new person comes to church | Welcome them and introduce yourself. | Learn their story, include them in your life, and help them develop meaningful relationships within the church. |
| A friend is overwhelmed | Say, “Let me know if you need anything.” | Offer something specific: “May I bring dinner Tuesday, drive you to your appointment, or watch the children?” |
| A disagreement becomes tense | Speak respectfully and avoid attacking them. | Humble yourself, seek to understand, admit your part, and pursue reconciliation rather than insisting on winning. |
The first three Steps of Living-Connected show us how kindness creates connection.
1. Be Others-Focused and Available
Kindness begins by noticing.
It looks up from the phone, slows down, and becomes aware of the person God has placed in front of us. It moves toward someone in need, initiates contact, offers assistance, buys a coffee, sends a note, or gives money.
It says: “I see you, and I care.”
2. Be Present and Listen
Kindness gives another person the gift of our attention.
With our full attention, we listen without comparing their experience to ours, or trying to quickly solve their problem. Instead, we become present enough to hear not only their words, but also what may be underneath them.
It says: “Your story matters to me.”
3. Be Curious and Interested
Kindness says, I’m genuinely interested; tell me more.
- “How are you—really?”
- “What has this been like for you?”
- “What feels hardest right now?”
- “Would you like to tell me more?”
It says:
“I really want to understand your pain”
These first three steps may begin with simple considerations, but they create something significant: a safe connection in which a deeper need can be revealed. Kindness opens the door for goodness to take over.
When Kindness Becomes Goodness
4. Be Empathetic and Compassionate.
This is where goodness shows up and moves toward a deeper connection.
It’s sacrificial.
Your priorities change.
You sense God is up to something good.
Here is the progression:
Kindness initiates connection. “I see and feel your pain.”
Sympathy recognizes and acknowledges the pain. “I’m sorry you are hurting.”
Empathy seeks to enter into and understand the pain. “Help me understand what this is like for you.”
Goodness responds. “Because your pain matters, I am compelled to respond.”
Compassion is activated within us, moved by the pain, and responds to the need.
Goodness is the Spirit-formed character within us that overcomes our self-interest and moves us into compassionate action.
The Samaritan Who Stopped
Jesus gave us a powerful picture of this in the story of the Good Samaritan.
A man was attacked, robbed, beaten, and left beside the road. A priest saw him and passed by. A Levite also saw him and continued on his way.
Then a Samaritan came along.
“When he saw him, he took pity on him.” —Luke 10:33
Other translations say that he had compassion.
The Samaritan noticed the man and moved toward him. He came close enough to understand his condition. But he did not stop with seeing, feeling, or expressing concern.
He treated the man’s wounds. He placed him on his own animal. He took him to an inn, paid for his care, and promised to return.
His kindness was visible in the tenderness with which he treated the wounded man. His goodness was visible in his willingness to sacrifice his time, plans, resources, and comfort for the man’s welfare.
The wounded man was not merely an interruption to the Samaritan’s journey. For that moment, he became the purpose of the journey.
Goodness
Goodness does not mean rushing in and doing whatever first occurs to us.
We may offer advice when someone needs to be heard. We may try to cheer them up when they need permission to grieve. We may attempt to fix the situation when they simply need someone to remain beside them.
That is why the first three steps matter. They help us listen and understand before we act.
It’s the fruit of goodness within us that loosens the grip of self-interest. The Holy Spirit enables us to make another person’s good more important than our immediate comfort.
This does not mean that we can meet every need or that healthy boundaries no longer matter. We are not called to rescue everyone. We are called to remain connected to God, listen for His direction, and faithfully respond to the good He places before us.
We can pray:
“Lord, help me see this person as You see them. Help me understand what they truly need, and make me willing to do the good You place before me.”
Kindness considers the person. Goodness compassionately responds to the need.
Last month, kindness taught us to move toward another person and say:
“I see you, and you matter.”
This month, goodness invites us to remain there long enough to reflect the love of God and be His hands, feet, ear, and voice.
That is the goodness of God, grown within us by His Spirit, producing compassionate action in the life of another person.
Perhaps it’s time to learn and practice the Six-Steps of Living-Connected, which bear the Fruit of walking in the Spirit instead of the flesh.